Really!?!

In 2013, Saturday Night Live did a new skit during the Weekend Update section with Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler asking Michael Vick “Really!?!” about his response to getting arrested at a Miami Airport after trying to take a water bottle secretly stashed with marijuana onto the plane.  

After a series of wacky editorial comments, they would sarcastically ask REALLY!?! Here is the YouTube of the original broadcast. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw4IRn4fLjI

Hence the title of this post.

That said, all I can say about 2020 is: what weird year. We had the bad timing that our youngest was graduating from high school and going off to college. I’m guessing most of you know how that turned.

After waiting years for Colonial Downs to reopen live racing, it was forced to close in July thanks to the current pandemic. Sports events, sans spectators, is odd to say the least. Just watching the Virginia Gold Cup streaming from a spectator-less Great Meadow was crazy weird, as was last weekend’s Indy 500, and so will be the Kentucky Derby coming in September.

REALLY!?!

In late June, there was an email going around titled “Dear Diary – 2020 Edition” and it was funny. While too long to regurgitate in this space, here are some highlights and editions to take us through August.

It begins like this: “In January, Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know when that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran. But, then there was the thing happening in China, then Prince Harry and Meghan vacated the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial. Then, Kobe Bryant was killed in a plane cash and the UK exited out of the European Union.”

“In February, Iowa crapped itself with the caucus results, the President was acquitted, and the Speaker of the House ripped up his speech in what looked like slow-motion.  Then the WHO decided to give the virus a name – COVID-19, Harvey Weinstein was found guilty, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor who just knew the flu killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18 combined.”

“In March, Warren dropped out of the presidential race. Italy shut down, and then COVID-19 officially became what everyone already realized – a pandemic. A nationwide state of emergency was declared in the U.S., but it didn’t really change anything. Then, the one celebrity everyone loves -Tom Hanks was totally infected. Then the DOW threw up all over itself, and we were all introduced to Tiger King. Thank you, Netflix!”

“In April, Bernie finally busted himself out of the presidential race, but then NYC became the center of Covid-19 infections, and we learned that no one had face masks, ventilators, toilet paper, or Swiffer Wet Jet liquid. (REALLY!?!) Then, Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life…or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released videos of UFOs, and we were like man, it’s only April…”

MURDER HORNETS

“In May, the biblical end times kicked off historical locust swarms and then we learned of murder hornets and realized that legit people protested lockdown measures with AR-15s, and then sports events were cancelled everywhere.

But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence when George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis. There were protests in every city, but then people forgot about the pandemic and a dead whale was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest (not kidding) and a giant asteroid narrowly missed earth.”

“In June, science and common sense just got thrown straight out the window and somehow wearing masks became a political thing, but then a whole lot of people realized the South actually lost the civil war and statues started coming down. But, then some folks decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a God given right (even though nobody has found that part in the Bible or the Constitution).

Then it was also announced that there is a strange radio single coming from somewhere in the universe that repeats itself every so many days. So far, things have gone spectacularly not that great.”

That said, I’ll add a few more items to ponder:

Also in June:

  • Trump decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court to shut down Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic?
  • There was a massive dust cloud coming straight at us from the Sahara Desert.
  • The Congo’s worst ever Ebola outbreak is over, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worst ever?
  • Riot police rushed demonstrators in Lafayette Park to clear the way for Trump to have a photo op.
  • Protesters all over the world started a conversation about race relations and police brutality when in mid-month Rayshard Brooks was fatally shot by police and it all started over again.
  • Mississippi retired the state flag that included the Confederacy’s battle flag.
  • NASCAR prohibited flying said flag at their events. 

In July:

WEST
  • Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffery Epstein’s co-conspirator was arrested.
  • Portland and parts of Seattle were lawless.
  • All 50 states issued a warning regarding suspicious packages of seeds being randomly sent.
  • Kanye West announced he was running for President.
  • The NFL’s entry the team formerly know as the Washington Redskins changed it name to the Washington Football Team – a new name is TBD.

In early August:

  • Beirut blew up when chemicals stored in the harbor (for over SIX years!) were ignited by a fire. This one deserves a REALLY!?! (All on it’s own.)
  • Wildfires in California burned millions of acres and are still burning.
  • Hurricanes Isalia and Lucy rampaged.  
  • Strong winds and floods devastated the Midwest.
  • There were landslides in India.
  • Apparently, somebody poisoned Alexei Navalny, a big critic of Vladimir Putin. (Nothing suspicious about that. Sidebar: REALLY!?!)
  • MLB, NBA and NHL all figured out to start or end their seasons, all without fans. Some in the bubble, some not – the sports, not the fans. We are all at home where we have been since mid-March.  
  • College football got the boot with only the SEC, Big 12, ACC and Notre Dame playing.
  • There are no spectators for PGA golf events, horse racing and the Indianapolis 500 which was held last weekend.
  • Jacob Blake is shot by police in Wisconsin and the protest and violence start anew.

What next? The Kentucky Derby in September and the Masters golf tournament in November? Wait, that has already happened…

REALLY!?!

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